Canvas for Love by Charlotte Greene

Author:Charlotte Greene [Greene, Charlotte]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781626399457
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Published: 2017-05-31T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirteen

I’m not entirely sure what would have happened if I hadn’t had my aunt or Meghan around to take care of me. At first, when they didn’t know, I think I was as close as I’ve ever been to actual insanity. I didn’t eat and I didn’t bathe. I resembled some kind of wraith, wandering around my apartment in the middle of the night and sleeping all day. Those were the only two actions I was capable of at first—pacing or sleeping.

Things might have gone on like this indefinitely, but my aunt’s sixth sense told her something was wrong. We normally talk once or twice a week but have no schedule per se. So the fact that I didn’t contact her all weekend wasn’t unusual, but she was worried nonetheless, especially as I hadn’t told her about the teaching demonstration yet. After another day of not getting in touch, she started calling once an hour, every hour, and then, fed up, she showed up at my place on Tuesday morning. I didn’t answer the door. I’m not sure if I was avoiding people or if I was even aware of the doorbell ringing—I don’t remember. She had to go back to her place to search for the spare key, and when she came back, she brought Meghan with her.

“I don’t know what made me so worried,” Aunt Kate told me later. “I just knew I needed to get inside your place and that I needed to do it immediately.”

I was very lucky she did. When she and Meghan opened the door, they found me, delirious, on the floor of my kitchen, quietly crying. I hadn’t eaten in days, I was dehydrated, and I’d actually soiled myself. My aunt wanted to take me to the hospital, but Meghan talked her into letting them try to bring me out of it, a move I’m ultimately grateful for, even if it was dangerous. The two of them managed to get through to me later that afternoon, and it was like coming out of a fog. They spent the afternoon bathing me and feeding me broth and electrolytes.

“Finally, it was like the lights came on in your eyes,” Aunt Kate told me later, tearing up. “You looked at us and you knew us.”

“It was the scariest thing I ever saw—you were in a trance,” Meghan said, shaking her head.

The story came spilling out of me—incoherently, I found out later, but the gist was clear. Amelia had broken up with me. They eventually got the story from me when I’d calmed down a little, but it took a few more days for me to tell them without breaking down again. Meghan and Aunt Kate had been taking turns staying with me, but they were both there the following Saturday—about a week after the breakup—when I managed to relate the whole story. First I had to back up and fill them both in about Sara. I’d been lying about her for some time now, I realized.

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